journal thoughts

I've been journaling since high school. I won't tell you what year I started, but let's just say that it's been about two decades of consistent, near-daily entries. There are exceptions to that consistency, of course; some years just don't have much going for them. 2025 was one of those years, even though a lot happened. 

I want to say that it's because I didn't like the notebook I used: it was a daily planner, with a budget tracker and prompts, which made it too structured for me. I need space to play! I need a few empty pages where I can pour my heart out without any confines! Looking at all my old journals and diaries, I wrote way more in a plain old notebook than I ever did on daily planners.

So, knowing this... tell me why, when I went to Muji, I bought one of their daily planners for 2026.

(It was because the planner was on sale. And it was cute, and I wanted it.)

I've had it for a month now (it started in December 2025), and I'm already a few days behind. Not a good omen. But I've already decorated the cover, which is the most important thing, so I'm not dwelling on the backlog too much. 

However, I've been thinking lately that even though I write in my journal most days, I rarely write about my thoughts. Only the things I did for that day. There's nothing wrong with writing down a log of your day, but I can't help comparing it with my diaries from high school and college, which are all bursting with emotions and opinions. 

Is this because I'm older? Because I've outgrown my childish notion of someone in the far future finding my diaries and being so amazed by my writing that they have no choice but to publish them? Or do I just have no more thoughts, no more emotions? None that are worth immortalizing in ink and paper, at least? But if that's true, why write down that I simply slept the first day of January 2026 away? What makes something interesting enough to commit to writing, to waste space and material on? 

I don't know. I don't even know why I'm writing this here, digitally, publicly, on this blog. Who cares? Wait — who cares? Who cares about who is caring! I shouldn't care about that shit. I care, and that should be enough. Even these 2AM thoughts are worth something. Maybe not much, maybe just a few centavos, but hey. It's something! It's the inaugural post on this blog! Which, admittedly, I only started on a whim, and the jury is still out on whether I stick to updating it, but let's be optimistic.

If you've read this far: thank you! Welcome to my twisted mind, as they say. Enjoy your stay!